Ah, Waterloo. The biggest name in battles Napoleon lost, songs ABBA wrote about battles Napoleon lost, and songs sung by Meryl Streep at the end of Mamma Mia! that were written by ABBA about battles Napoleon lost. But we aren’t talking about any of those Waterloos today, because today we are talking about Waterloo the sparkling water brand, and how they have teamed up with the celebrity chef that least reminds me of sparkling water: Guy Fieri. That’s right, Fieri has teamed up with Waterloo to release a Flavortown-branded Waterloo sparkling water lineup. So, get in, Waterlooser—we’re going sparkling water shopping.
What flavors of sparkling water were so flavorful they flavored their way into Flavortown? Do these cans of Guy Fieri Waterloo taste better when you have frosted tips? Why is Guy getting into the water game of all things?
Let’s begin at the beginning—Flavortown Waterloo is hitting stores in three flavors, and no, they aren’t Diner (pancakes), Drive-In (fries), and Dive (swimming pool), although that would be an epic lineup. The real flavors are Spiced Mango Sorbet, Lemon Italian Ice, and Huckleberry Cobbler, which, despite the overall vibe of skepticism I’m putting out, all sound pretty darn good to me. Plus, the packaging for each of these has one of those old-timey distance signposts that usually say things like “Bear creek, three miles,” but in this case, they just say Flavortown and point directly to the flavor names, so I feel like we have to trust them.
Based on the packaging, I’m guessing these will taste like a Mangonada, Lemonade, and Mixed Berry respectively, and I have to be honest, I don’t have anything against any of those flavors. Perhaps he based them on dishes he has tasted on Triple D? Either way, if Guy can pull off these flaves, he officially has my vote for Mayor of Flavortown. Not that he needs it, but as we all know in general, it’s better to vote than not vote.
As for where we can get these sparkly guys, they are actually being sold not just in Flavortown. In fact, 8-packs of each flavor are available at stores now, so grab you friend who is really into ABBA, your friend who is really into Napoleon, and your friend who has frosted tips and a bowling shirt with flames on it and crack open some of these cold ones, because, by golly, if this sparkling water isn’t the exact center of that extremely odd Venn diagram, I don’t know what is.
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